Just a housewife?

Yesterday I met an ex colleague of mine first time after I quit work.  When she saw me the first thing she exclaimed was “oh you have become so thin I expected you would have put on some weight since you are now relaxing at home”. Though those were not her exact words what she meant was roughly on the same lines. 
How do I deal with people who think being a full time mum is less taxing than a job in the software industry?  
My typical day begins at 6:30 AM when I rush to prepare breakfast.  After hubby leaves for work at 7:45 AM it’s only me who has to do everything right from brushing my daughter’s teeth to feeding her breakfast and bathing her. Only I know how daunting each of these tasks is. Rest of the morning is largely spent in cooking, getting my daughter dressed and dropping her to school. After a quick lunch I rush to pick up Anagha from school followed by chores like getting her changed, feeding her lunch and putting her to sleep after which I am so exhausted that I have to take a nap. Evenings are spent in again feeding Anagha, taking her out to play and dinner preparation. And of course in between there are miscellaneous chores like folding clothes, filling water, watering the plants, etc. By the time I am ready to hit the sack I am completely drained out and have zero energy left so where is the question of relaxing at home?
What people do not realise is that in an office job the work hours are fixed, you get paid holidays/vacations, weekends off and a heavy pay packet.  I work from morning to night with no weekend offs and no salary or appreciation for good work and yet people think I am relaxing at home. Forget appreciation, one badly cooked meal and I am at the receiving end.  Does it bother me that a very highly paid successful professional at one time, now I am reduced to doing mundane work?  Yes sometimes it does. I feel like I am losing my identity, I feel the urge to go out and do something.  So do I want to go to the lifestyle I had when I was working full time? Certainly not!

When I quit my full time job, I had this notion of that I am doing this for my daughter, I will be able to raise my child my way. To some extent I have been successful and my daughter has certainly started bonding with me much better than before. And I definitely feel relaxed not having to constantly worry about deadlines, take client calls at odd hours and having the freedom to do what I want and when I want. So then why am I complaining? I guess because it is human tendency to never be satisfied and always complain.  The grass is definitely greener on the other side of the fence.
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4 thoughts on “Just a housewife?

  1. true indeed.. but nowadays i find there are many SAHMs online and groups through which you can connect with similar minded ones, who would not ask the same questions… identity is indeed the first struggle.. 🙂

  2. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.. I am so sick and tired of everyone else taking me for granted just because I am a SAHM.. blogging really gives me the avenue to vent out my feelings and it feels good that there are others too who feel the same way…

  3. I totally agree with you Reshma especially with the line – guess because it is human tendency to never be satisfied and always complain. . Nothing comes easy in life. The small references at times tend to hurt a lot. But at the end of the day you must feel PROUD of what you are doing! which I feel is something really GREAT – sacrificing “YOURSELF” for the sake for family .. so chin up, been there, done that, feel bad now at regretting that at that point of time…

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