Women’s Day…Or is it?

Its that time of the year. 8th March. So called International Women’s Day. A day when everyone wishes us a happy women’s day. A day when social media is flooded with messages and posts trying to celebrate women.A day when the same messages supposedly to motivate women keep circulating on whatsapp. A day when everyone, right… Continue reading Women’s Day…Or is it?

The challenges of being a stay-at-home mum

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Has anyone ever thought about the challenges of being a stay at home mum? Just like a working woman has to put up with targets, pressures and deadlines, so does a stay at home mum. Why ? Well simply because she is ‘at home’
For instance her home is expected to be spick and span all the time. So what is the kid is throwing toys around the house at all times and the husband is too lazy to put his stuff in place? She is expected to clean after them.
And her kids are supposed to be well-behaved at all times. In the case of a working mom it is alright if the kids are not on their best behavior or don’t do that well in studies. After all their mother is working so they get that extra leeway. But a a stay-at-home mum is not given such allowance. One instance of bad behavior by the kid or one academic failure and she is instantly crucified for negligence. Does anyone realize what tremendous pressure this is?
She is not expected to require any domestic help. After all she has the entire day to do the household chores. But a poor working woman already has too much to do at her workplace,  so she cannot be burdened further with mundane tasks so in her case hiring domestic help is perfectly justified. 
If a stay-at-home mum is seen laughing and gossiping with her girl gang she is immediately criticized. Oh these housewives have nothing else to do the whole day than gossip about clothes and jewelry is what we hear. However it is perfectly okay for working women to have long coffee sessions with her friends in office. After all she needs a break from her stressful work.  Come on people, give the poor woman a break, a stay-at-home mum is entitled to a change from routine work as much as a working mum.
A stay-at-home mum is expected to be an excellent cook. If a working mom messes up a meal well so what? She probably has other important stuff to do than practice cooking.  But a stay-at-home mum has all day to hone her cooking skills. So there is no excuse or scope for error. One badly cooked meal and people are ready to pounce on her and tear her self confidence to pieces.
Isn’t it an unfair expectation from any person not just a stay-at-home mum to never err?
I am ashamed to say that when I was working full-time, I felt the same way. However being a stay-at-home mum for the past 2 years has given me a whole new perspective and I realize how wrong I was.  Being a stay-at-home mum is a most challenging and underrated job. I’m not saying life is a bed of roses for a working mom but to be biased and judge someone simply on the basis of whether they are working or not is grossly unfair. It just results in undue pressure. 
So next time you think it is all play and no work for a stay-at-home mum, just remember that she has her own challenges which as as stressful as those of a working mom if not more. She is extremely fatigued of people peeking into her life and being critical of every aspect of it. So just respect her decision of being a stay-at-home mum and let her be.